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Sat, May. 26th, 2007, 07:54 pm
Zen died?

no... not really... but it sure seems that way x.x;;

I never got around to posting about the last Diru concert I went to. Second one! yay! I posted briefly about it on my Gaia Journal so I think I'll leave this blank and edit another post later or something x.x;

Onto this post:

So it's been ages since I've been on LJ. I never seem to check it much anymore but I know I should. My first year of college is about to come to an end and I couldn't be happier. I really don't like what I'm doing... I need to get out. I need to go a school that specializes in what I want to do... or at least something I'd LIKE to do.

I started a shop on Gaia. I do chibi sketches. It went over as a hit so that's given me more incentive to trying art/animation as a career. I spend way too much time on Gaia really but I started spending more time on Deviantart. I remade an account as my old RO alias, Kizui. I've been playing with art styles and coloring techniques but I haven't found anything I really... LOVE yet.

I have such little confidence in my ability that it's rather pathetic. I've always had the idea that I'll never get better and I haven't seen much improvement in the past couple years. It's rather upsetting. However, I have to keep trying or I'm not going to improve; I know that.

Trying to find a good school to give me the training I'd need is not easy. I REALLY would love to be an animator... I've never actually DONE animation is the only drawback. I've seen so many lovely "making of" scenes and I've stared and oogled at the works done by animation students for hours. When I think about it though... do I have what it takes to actually do this? I want to, but I need to find more strength. I have a new goal, to prove to the world and to myself I have what it takes... I guess... let's just hope I make that goal. It'll shape my future.

Sun, Mar. 26th, 2006, 02:11 am
Dir en grey! Live in LA!

It's taken me a few days to get my rest back, every second was well worth it!

A few weeks back I found out Dir en grey was coming to New York and LA for live concerts. I FREAKED! I ran screaming through the house, litterally jumping over couches, in and out of rooms, yelling at the top of my lungs (btw, socks on the floor + running = slippery =D I had fun with that one). My parents have grown used to this behavior and simply asked what I was talking about. After a few more sprees I finally told them Diru was coming to America and was actually playing LA, only 2 hours away! I knew the chances of me going were 1 in probably a million but I was too excited to care. That's when my luck came into play. I begged them to let me go (since my dad actually kinda likes their music). In the end, Brandon volunteered to take me! THEY SAID YES! I flipped out!

When the day of ticket sales came out I was up an hour before staring at ticketmaster with my mouse ready to order asap. I got in the Mezz (which was where I wanted to be, that or loge but that was gone before they went on sale I think). I was originally supposed to pay for everything but because of my 4.33gpa, my parents covered tickets, gas, and food. I would pay for anything else. Agreed =3 they know how hard I've been working this year and it's paying off well! I think that's also one of the reasons I was allowed to go in the first place!

So on Thursday, I was WAY to excited. School seemed so meaningless, I couldn't concentrate on ANYTHING! When I got home I got ready and Brandon picked me up at 4:30 and we were off to LA. When we got there, the first thing I saw was the lights saying Dir en grey was playing. I flipped! I was screaming and bouncing up and down in the car so excited to know I was there and that there wasn't some mistake (which for some reason... I had some doubts that everything would turn out right). We parked and got in line to get in. Took a while I must admit, there were a LOT of people there! I spent my time talking to some people in front of me (you should have seen the expression on Brandon's face when one asked if he was a pedophile XD). We're all very alike: anime fans, Jrock fans, and even Gaia Online! One (the die hard Kyo lover <3) was wearing an adorable EGL costume, she looked a lot younger than she was but all of them were much younger than me.

When I got into the building, it was dark and loud. Just like I had expected. We watched some weird band, I don't even remember the name. I wasn't the most impressed but the lead singer really needed the belt that was hanging on his side to be used properly ^^;; Dir en grey FINALLY came on. It was torture waiting. As soon as G.D.S. started the crowd went crazy! I've never seen anything so fantastic or been so excited in my life! I was screaming at the top of my lungs with every song (even though I had a huge choir rating festival the next day...). Most of the songs they played were from Withering to Death. Makes sense really. There were 4 songs I had hoped they'd play: The Final, Jessica, Machiavellism, and Umbrella. They played The Final and Machiavellism. I kinda expected them but I was REALLY hoping Jessica would be played for some reason.

I've seen some better concerts of theirs from DVDs but I was still extremely happy just to see them live. I was looking back at something I had written at the beginning of the year, one of my goals was to see a Diru concert. I can finally cross that off my list! (though I'd REALLY like to see another :P;; ) Kyo was awesome ^_^ He really can put on a show when he wants to. I wish I could have seen better but it's hard to really see from that distance (seeing as my eyes are terrible...). But I saw all of them! I feel bad for Shinya... he gets no action T_T;; But maybe he likes it that way...? All in all, it was a gorgeous concert! I loved it with every fiber of my being and I'm dying to get more concerts and watch them over and over again!

After it ended, (it seemed to end so quickly T_T) I went and blew about $200 (my stash) in the blink of an eye. I managed to get The Code of Vulgarism Tour, Vulgar, Kisou, Withering to Death, a poster, and the Zombie shirt. Okay, the shirt is an XXL... I swear... that's all they had left!! I got it anyway XD It looks so funny to see me in something so large. I really needed a small but ended up with the largest size anyway. I wore it the next day to school. I looked kinda funny with a ponytail and cutesy bow (left over from the festival... I don't wear my hair anyway but down normally) and a huge zombiefied t-shirt tied in the middle so it wouldn't hang over like a dress. I'd had enough dresses for one day. Our choir dresses are rather... long XD;

Yes, I went to school the next day even though Brandon and I didn't get home till around 2 AM. But school was a festival at BHS so I was saved from doing homework on Thursday since I had litterally NO time to do it. I did, however, have to go to Calculus for an AP review session after school. I couldn't concentrate to save my life, and it wasn't just from lack of sleep either.

I think Brandon thinks I'm crazy now though XD He said I seemed to age 3 years in that night alone. I wonder if that's a good thing? I figured I went back in time... I was acting like a 6 year old... or just a crazy fangirl I guess :P;

I have a lot of make-up work now... IT WAS SO TOTALLY WORTH IT!! I wish I was rich... there were many albums and DVDs I wanted... and the singles!! ahh! I wanted Jessica and The Final (I didn't really see if that one was there... knew I couldn't afford it, but I KNOW I saw Jessica! kinda wish I hadn't...) I think I've left out a few details... but it's actually almost 3 AM now and... some things are best left unsaid :P On a journal anway ^_~;

Please come back to LA, Diru =3 I want to see you guys again! <3

Tue, Mar. 21st, 2006, 10:23 pm
My Stalker!

zenchan's LJ stalker is ruaki!
ruaki is stalking you because they think you are the one who made anonymous abusive LJ comments. They are also deluded!


LiveJournal Username:


LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

hmmm... I don't think this one is actually accurate...

Fri, Mar. 3rd, 2006, 12:03 am
Euph!! In the flesh!!

I got to play with Euph on EuphRO!! It was awesome!! He asked me to leech for him and, of course, you say yes! It was soooo much fun! So I told Amy I was talking to Euph, she came over and me and Amy leeched his Sage while he used his High Priest to tank different monsters for us to kill!!

I'm dying to go trans now! That's the coolest thing that I've gotten to do so far! Wow! So many cool things happening lately!! *saves her screen shots* =3

[edit] As promised to a friend, here are SSs =3

01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10

seriously... when the admin talks to you in the game... what do you say? No, I won't help o_O;; And I know he wasn't on his GM account :P I know the difference, this is his legit chara. Though I wonder if his Sage is actually his or Zell's... he has KFF in the name... hmm....

Euph: Kizui
(Zen) *looks around to see who he's talking to* *hovers over her own name to double check and make sure he's talking to her* Yes, Mr. Admin person? o.o;;;;

Too bad Amy and I kept dying (yeah, wizzies are strong but naturally weak in defense)... If I go trans, I think I'll be an int/dex/vit wizzy (the same type used in WoE)...

Sun, Feb. 19th, 2006, 09:19 pm
Kingdom Hearts... now what?

I've been downloading KH clips all day... TONS of them... Mostly KHII ones... and I'm TRYING not to spoil anything even though people have already spoiled a lot for me DX

one thing though... graphics = *drools* Riku looks more gorgeous than ever (ZOMGIWANTTOBEARYOURCHILDRENRIKU - type good too O_O <3)... and Cloud... omg... *melts*

And if 2 wasn't spoiled enough for me... now I know a little about 3 (and I haven't even played 2 T_T)... and WTF is going on with KH III?! I don't know whether to be happy or terrified!! WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?!







don't mind me... I'm actually quite excited at the moment >3

Fri, Feb. 3rd, 2006, 09:41 pm
Gundam SEED Finished

Today marks the day that I've finally seen all 50 eps of Gundam SEED =D Now Amy's going to show me Destiny XD

I love the series =3 Can't wait for Destiny!!

So many surprises! And a few... not so surprising...

Why can't Kira have more parts in Destiny?! AsuxKira all the way!!! *gonk*

Sun, Jan. 15th, 2006, 05:29 pm
Gundam SEED and Soukyuu no Fafner

I've been watching Gundam SEED at Amy's every weekend for 2 weeks now, I love the series so far!! I must find AthrunxKira and KiraxAthrun fics x3

on another note:

I HATE Fllay!!! >_<;; HATE HATE HATE HER!!! Freakin evil, seducing, manipulative, witch!! I still have a hard time looking at Kira after what they did! T_T Ever have the feeling where you want to just smack the TV to get Fllay away from him?! KIRA, HOW COULD YOU?! *cries*

I kinda like Cagalli though =3 One of the few anime girls I've liked. And Lacus is okay too! I hope they don't change... though I've heard Cagalli is very annoying in Destiny... T_T;;


-----

Soukyuu no Fafner (Fafner in the Azure) takes a different tone with mechs. At first, I thought it was a remake of Eva, it's faily similar actually. It has to be by the same people who did Gundam SEED because the animation style is almost the exact same.

I was crying like there was no tomorrow... The series is a real tear jerker in some episodes. I'm about half way through the series right now.

The series is very good. It's EXTREMELY confusing right now as nothing has really been explained and it's coming out it little bits. I believe it's one of those that you'll learn everything at the end then have to rewatch the series to understand what was actually happening at the beginning.


-----

I'm in a weird mood... I'm thrown between hate and love because of Fllay >_<;; Gah I hate her so much and I'm so upset with Kira even though I still love him. My point scale is all out of whack XO I shall go vent by killing things with my merchant XO

^_____^ ja!

Sun, Dec. 25th, 2005, 05:56 pm
MERRY CHRISTMAS =D

YAY!! Christmas is here!! It didn't feel much like it... but I enjoyed it anyway x3 lots of people came, I made a gingerbread house, and we opened lots of presents!! Everyone was asking for my list, so here it is =3

Stocking Stuffers:
See's Candy Chocolate Santa Bears
Reese's Candies =D
Candy Cane Bath Confetti
Graduation Ornament
Santa Pez
Umbrella
Black Gloves
Pencils and Pens and Whiteout
Keychain Flashlight
Toothbrush
Candy
Perfume
Lip Shine

----------

Two FFVII: Advent Children Pillows (ZOMG!! CLOUD! X3)
FFVII: Advent Children Calendar
FFVII: Advent Children Soundtrack
FFVII: Advent Children Playing Cards
FFX-2 Playing Cards
Gravitation Soundtrack
Brown Sequin Purse
Chinese Brush Painting Book/Kit
Mint Coin Collection for 2005
Uncut 2 dollar bills Collection
Horse Snowglobe
Hana Kimi 8
Hana Kimi 9
Memoirs of a Geisha (novel)
Eeyore Fleece Pajamas
Lavendar Boots
DVD Player
2 DDR Pads (fold up kind)
Art Studio (kit)
Glowing... stick things for my car XD
MAGIC 8 BALL 8) (ask me yes or no questions!)
Paint Brushes
Watercolor Paper
Acrylic Paper
3 Canvas Panels
Easel
$80


I also got the bubble wrap out of a box of See's Candy =D Big and Little bubbles XD



Hope you all had a wonderful holiday =D Merry Christmas!!

Wed, Oct. 12th, 2005, 08:41 pm
Busy busy @_@

Sunday night, I went out do dinner with Josh and his family to celebrate his 18th birthday! It was a lot of fun ^^;; I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be around people I didn't know XD;; Yesterday, Kisho and I went over to his house before he left... I swear that Mortal Kombat is OVERLY gorey XP

I watched Advent Children... again... today... on our big TV XD;; ugh... the subtitles need to be outlined better for that though =/ Kadaj and Reno are so adorable x3 Reno makes me laugh! He acts like a kitty x3 I think we're watching it in Anime Club but no one informs me what's going on so... we shall see =D I don't mind watching it again though XD;; CLOUD!!

My obsession for Cloud ensues... I swear I need to go buy that pillow >>;;

Sat, Oct. 8th, 2005, 11:45 pm
ADVENT CHILDREN x333

I saw Advent Children a few hours ago =D I LOVED it X3 the animation was just soooo awesome! The storyline may have been a little weak, but that may also be because I haven't really played FF7?

I went to Write on Time with Kisho today and bought a wallscroll (the one of Cloud holding Kadaj! *superfangirlsqueal*), and 3 posters (one of cloud, one of sephiroth, and one of Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz), as well as a Gokou from Saiyuki pin, and some Gravitation playing cards x3 Score!



I ADORE Cloud beyond belief now x3 he's just so gorgeous, and perfect, and... *dies* I just love him! Reno is adorable! Zutto Zutto Yo! Kadaj is beautiful X3 Yazoo is gorgeous =D and Vincent is just super secretive and mysterious x333;; and *one winged angel plays* Sephiroth! XD;;

*dies again* I'm sooooo hyper right now! I really need to sleep but... OMG!! I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN... AND AGAIN!! AAAAHHHHHHH!!

...

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CLOUD!!

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